


The Hollow

by Fudgenucker



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Language, Familiars, In the middle of the war, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-06-19 15:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15512496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fudgenucker/pseuds/Fudgenucker
Summary: “ Harry Fucking Potter, The Golden Twat, The Chosen Wanker, The Boy Who was a Self Righteous Git, felt like he would never get his shit together. Draco Sodding Malfoy, the Spoiled Pure Blooded heir to the fucking Malfoy fortune felt the same way. They sure as hell never expected to be happy and certainly not fucking together. So how in the bloody hell did it happen? Being the arsehole I am, I am sick of hearing this fucking story so listen because if i hear any of you ask this question again I will bite off your bollocks.”





	The Hollow

“Come on tossers! Sit down. I ain't going to sit here and wait for you all damn day. I am a very important bloody person in this camp. You bloody will listen to every buggering word that comes out of my mother fucking mouth and stay silent or I the very important bloody person will send you back from where you came.… Good, now where was I?” The newcomers shuffled in slowly and reluctantly but found themselves seated around a fire. 

“ Harry Fucking Potter, The Golden Twat, The Chosen Wanker, The Boy Who was a Self Righteous Git, felt like he would never get his shit together. Draco Sodding Malfoy, the Spoiled Pure Blooded heir to the fucking Malfoy fortune felt the same way. They sure as hell never expected to be happy and certainly not fucking together. So how in the bloody hell did it happen? Being the arsehole I am, I am sick of hearing this fucking story so listen because if i hear any of you ask this question again I will bite off your bollocks.” 

“Now stop getting so excited, don't explode in your knickers and let me start this bloody epic tale… The day the Bloody Golden Twat turned 17 started out normal. The Dickhead felt run down(fucking depression), had stomach pains(hunger is a real fucking thing) and his scar was bloody killing him(thanks to Lord Moldy Underwear.) When Harry finished his bloody yard work the fat ass muggle boy, what's his name? Um, Dopey? Yeah, Dopey decided to treat Harry to a beating, probably because Harry could fit through the door and he couldn't, and stuff started getting fucking insane. The Chosen Wanker wasn't paying any attention to the whale because he had started to feel a pull to leave. As i was told it he didn't know why or where he needed to go… He just needed to move. Anyway, the great big oaf lunged for Harry and Harry um, well he fucking blew up the house.” 

 

The look of shock on the newcomers faces was predicted but he quickly shut down the comments.“Shhhhhhhh! Yeah I know, I was bloody fucking impressed too! The only problem I saw with it was the Chosen Dick decided at the last moment to save his cow of a cousin. He grabbed onto the big turd and apperated without a destination in mind. They popped back into existence in this very bloody Hollow. Now the fucking Tub of Lard met everyone's expectations and passed out after a bloody awesomely disgusting barf fest. The fat ass passing out may have changed the events of the day greatly… for you see after checking for a pulse Harry turned quickly after hearing bloody footsteps. Without much time to react Superboy was punched in the bloody bullocks!(I know, I was fucking dying at this point too.)” 

“So if I recall correctly the words spoken between the struggle went something like this ‘Oi! Potty! How nice to see you again!’ And something along the lines of ‘Malfoy? Are you fucking shitting me?!?!? What are you doing I'll fucking kill you bloody BUGGERING HELL!’ Quickly after that awesome statement something fucking magical happened. You see earlier that day, Malfoy was in his big pompous ass manor and started to feel the same pull towards… Something. He left the manor and starter to walk, out of the wards and into, you guessed it, the Hollow! Now back to the fighting, the dick heads still going at it, finally touched skin to skin.. This is where our fucking wonderful leaders became bonded. You see, So I am told, after the last of a couple in a fated bond becomes of age all it takes is one touch.” 

“The rest of what happened in my bloody fucking hollow, well i should say our bloody fucking hollow was only witnessed by me. Well and the unconscious bloody twat. And I know we all love to hear about sodomy in great detail but i have been warned against my descriptive dialogue. So,I have just a few non descriptive words for you. SUPER HOT FUCKING ANGRY BUGGERING. They consummated that shit! And so started our little camp, our home hidden from the stupid fucking war where you have all come to ruin my fucking time with my bloody fucking humans. Don't you know it's rude to take time away from the best fucking familiar ever born? I don't care if you were rescued and brought here by my bloody fucking humans… I really…..” 

 

“Prick!” Yelled a fond yet stern voice. “Are you really welcoming the newcomers with that story again?” 

“And here they are Ladies and Gentletwats. The amazing fucking Kings of the Hollow.” Grumbled Prick. “Stupid fucking idiots bringing more fucking humans to our fucking home.” He mumbled as he walked away. 

“Draco?” 

“Yes Love?” 

“Why did we decide to keep the Jarvey again?” 

“We didn't… he chose to keep us.”

“Yeah, but you have to admit it's hard not to grow fond of Prick.”


End file.
